In the pews, your name formed the rosary,
The beads were resigned tonight.
Traces of your lips, I forgot,
As kohl my eyes lined tonight.
The chef’s taste had been yours,
On passion I dined tonight.
Your silhouette flit in my memory,
My own lines got designed tonight.
Punctuation marks and you ruled my world,
I left the ellipsis behind tonight.
Byron, Derrida were displaced,
Shahid entered the mind tonight.
Where the road was blocked,
I, Vebhuti, a path have divined tonight.
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- vebhuti
- I define only to encounter the fundmental alterity of experience. I dance between states, fluid. I write 'I' only to not exist.
2 comments:
shouldn't there be one word for 'not exist'?
anyways, first, the font is illegible, try not to use an italic here.
second, is there some sort of generic name for this? is it what one calls an english gazhal?
third, never heard of shahid. kindly detail whenever u find some time.
fourth, the second 'couplet' (if i can call that) seems contradictory to the first one, but well, if its a gazhal, then u can be that anytime.
on the whole, there is a lack of unity in the composition, a fluidity that i expect from you, its not there.
hope u won't mind the comments.
and yes, happy birthday.
should there be one word for not exist? nope... i like "not exist" and moreover, it carries very different connotations.
generic name, yes well i suppose this is what one calls an english ghazal. Shall send you some work by Agha Shahid Ali (died 2001) - he's the one brought the form of the ghazal to english.
does the second couplet contradict the first? err... not to my mind, for the simple reason that it is about a lovelorn, poetic self (which is actually part of the urdu ghazal convention) which has just decided to start something new in different ways... so that which was prominent before in the self has now been undone, and that is now being recreated - that is what unifies the ghazal, according to me.
n comments always welcome... n was this an acceptable birthday gift for you? [;)]
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